35 Ways to embarrass your parents in the grocery store.

Now, I'm going to put it out there- I pride myself in being as obnoxious as I possibly can. I excel in being the most incessantly annoying person I possibly can be. It's truly a skill.

This has gotten me in trouble, and if there are enough people around to egg me on or if I find whatever I'm doing to be particularly funny then I will embarrass myself and those around me. Including my poor family.

I also hate to grocery shop unless there are free samples, or if there was some good junk foods that I need to buy. I tolerated this torture as a child and compiled this list for all the sassy children of the world to give their defiant sides a go. Who knows, maybe if you combine some of my ideas you will never have to go on those unsavory trips again!

Although I don't recommend trying to embarrass the people who have access to both Facebook and all of your baby pictures here is a long list of all the things you can do to publicly shame your parents in  grocery store.

1. Pretend that you are in Mission Impossible and hum your theme song as you dive behind cover. 
2. Start a jousting tournaments with your noble speed being a shopping cart and the opponents being unlucky employees of the grocery store
3. Repeatedly try to get samples from one table, using a different accent/ changing your appearance every time you go by.
4. Climb into the large freezers in the frozen foods section ( bonus points if you can't get out after you get in. 
5. Surf on the check out counters. and wipeout into nearby shopping carts
6. Take 10 numbers at the deli counter and respond every time one of the numbers is called. Each time with a 1/10th of what you actually want.
7. Crawl everywhere
8. Have fainting episodes and then pretend like you don't remember them.
9. Go to the opposite side of the store and scream "MOM/DAD, I FOUND YOUR SIZE DEPENDS! YOU ONLY WANT 2 PACKS?!?" very loudly. The more people in the store the better.
10. Cry every time they pick something and put it back because "You had a connection"
11. Propose to every woman in the store and offer them a rose that looks really wilted from the florist section.
12. Pretend to be a pirate and plunder other people's carts (the more you say "booty" the better. 
13. Place odd objects in other people's carts. (whisks, one lime, baby formula, large containers of baking soda and tampons are some great examples) 
14. Offer to show people your yo-yo tricks and then burst into tears when you can't yo-yo
15. Hide in pumpkin, melon, or other large produce displays and grab people's hands if they reach for one, and tell them not to touch your house. 
16. Hug strangers, saying you haven't seen them in so long and see how long you can hold a conversation with them. (If they offer to get together sometime, you know you did this right.)
17. Read stranger's palms and make up some pretty horrendously specific fortunes
18. Try to start a dance party in the Spice section, with only Spice girls music
19. Buy a handful of lollipops and see how many licks it takes to get to the center of each one while you sit in the baby seat of a cart (If you get stuck, you did this right)
20. Interview shoppers and employees about the staggering prices of milk and take notes on a milk carton with sharpie.
21. Open all of the candles in the air freshener isle, and line them up down an aisle
22. Set all of the kitchen timers you can find to go off in 2 minute intervals. 
23. See how many of one item you can put in one cart and then leave the cart in the entrance of the store with a hand made 99.99% off sign
24. Close your eyes and try to navigate the store with your sense of smell. 
25. Shake every one's hand and tell them to call you "Admiral"
26. Be overcome with the need to Opera sing, and sing made-up Italian. (The louder you do this the better)
27. Play cops and robbers with a young kid and let them arrest you and take you to jail (a flipped over shopping cart is a great jail.)
28. Dance anytime your parent speaks to you
29. Repeat anything anyone says. (Strangers on the phone are the best targets for this)
30. Put baskets they always have over your head, refuse to take it off and insist that you are called "Mr. Bucket Head" don't respond to anything other that Mr. Bucket head
31. Dance. Often and badly with movements that deserve to be booed
32. Wear a poncho and sombrero and take "Siestas" in the center of aisles
33. Smear pudding on the floor in a line to the bathroom. 
34. purchase a mayo jar, clean it out and fill it with whipped cream. Eat it with a spoon as you shop, right out of the jar.
35. Pretend to hold a funeral for a cut of meat in the floral section. (Bonus points if people come and pay their respects)

And with that, that's all I have for you today, I hope that you found this to both be funny and enjoyable. If you do you can head over to the  facebook page and like it!